Once Upon A Time,
Ben Culture wrote:
>Captain Infinity,
>
>Hi!
Howdy!
>Just wanted to let you know you're pathetically stupid and lame,
>y'know what I mean? Like, you suck. You suck in all sorts of ways,
>drooling around hard cocks, and thick nutty turds, and whatever else
>anyone cares to stuff in your mouth, 'cause you let them, 'cause you
>like the attention.
>
>How many times did you say, "I taught it to fly", in reference to
>kicking a cat across the room? Twice, was it? Maybe three times.
Twice.
>You thought it was clever enough to say once, that's pathetic enough.
>And let's look at what you're bragging about: KICKING A CAT. Hard.
I didn't kick him, I threw him. Whatever made you think I kicked him?
That's just cruel.
>The smaller and weaker of the two most popular pets, and you're
>boasting about kicking this small, delicate creature across the room.
>
>My god, what a pathetic and impotent little man you must be. Hell,
>you can't even kick a wolf, or a leopard, or a Saint Bernard or
>anything. No, you have to kick an ordinary, domestic little pet pussy
>kitty CAT. Holy Christ, your penis must be small and always drippy,
>producing a cold little puddle in your briefs, resulting in your
>constant discomfort and petulance. You must be exceedingly uptight
>and miserable, itchy with flaming red acne all over your face -- and,
>naturally, people swerve to avoid you, lest you leak your disgusting
>infected pus on them.
Yeesh, what a vocabulary. Do you kiss your mother with that keyboard?
>"Captain Infinity". Fuuuck. You're not the Captain of anything --
>you couldn't dominate a DILDO. Try "Captain Skidmark". Hmm.
>"Captain Manboob"? There you go. "Captain Chucklefart. Now we're
>getting somewhere!
LOL! Them's keepers.
>What's more, I bet you never actually DID kick a cat
You would be correct, I have never kicked a cat. However, I did once have
a swordfight with a raccoon.
> -- you're just
>pathetic enough of a fat fuck turd to think it's worth LYING about, to
>BRAG about! Like your eleven-year-old boogerloving crusty-butthole
>friends might look up to you for it. "I taught it to fly, heeyuck,
>chortle, fart." What a stupid fuck turd you are! Let me know if you
>need me to elaborate on this, okay?
Please, do go on. You're very entertaining.
>Now, be sure to PLEASE print this post out, and tape it on your
>mirror, so you can read and reflect upon it each morning.
Sorry, I have no printer, but I will mark it as "unread" so I can read it
again tomorrow, will that do?
>Sincerely,
>
>
>Ben
>
>
>P.S. Fuckface! Hey, Fuckface! I know where there's some GAY COCK to
>stuff in your FAT FUCKMOUTH, you UGLYWEED FUCKFACE! You want some
>GREASY DICK for your LONELY STUPID MOUTH?!? 'Course you do, ya pimple-
>lipped polesmoker! That's you, CAPTAIN FUCKFACE, eating turds by the
>pound! And I'd say "You go, girl", if it made you happy (why not?
>sure! why NOT be a flabby $12 throatfuck whore, working out of your
>Dad's basement? fuck it! nothing matters! it's all stupid,
>everything's stupid, nobody understands you!), but that's the sad and
>pathetic part: FUCKFACE, you're NOT HAPPY, and you NEVER WILL BE.
ROFL! I like you, you're a kook. Thanks for the laughs, it's been a slow
TV night tonight what with just Prisoner of Azkaban and Friends repeats, so
I appreciate the break in the monotony. Here's a cookie for you:
_.:::::._
.:::'_|_':::.
/::' --|-- '::\
|:" .---"---. ':|
|: ( O R E O ) :|
|:: `-------' ::|
\:::.......:::/
jgs':::::::::::'
`'"""'`
Cheers!
**
Captain Infinity
