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> Captain Infinity,
>
> Hi! Just wanted to let you know you're pathetically stupid and lame,
> y'know what I mean? Like, you suck. You suck in all sorts of ways,
> drooling around hard cocks, and thick nutty turds, and whatever else
> anyone cares to stuff in your mouth, 'cause you let them, 'cause you
> like the attention.
>
> How many times did you say, "I taught it to fly", in reference to
> kicking a cat across the room? Twice, was it? Maybe three times.
> You thought it was clever enough to say once, that's pathetic enough.
> And let's look at what you're bragging about: KICKING A CAT. Hard.
> The smaller and weaker of the two most popular pets, and you're
> boasting about kicking this small, delicate creature across the room.

>
> My god, what a pathetic and impotent little man you must be. Hell,
> you can't even kick a wolf, or a leopard, or a Saint Bernard or
> anything. No, you have to kick an ordinary, domestic little pet pussy
> kitty CAT. Holy Christ, your penis must be small and always drippy,
> producing a cold little puddle in your briefs, resulting in your
> constant discomfort and petulance. You must be exceedingly uptight
> and miserable, itchy with flaming red acne all over your face -- and,
> naturally, people swerve to avoid you, lest you leak your disgusting
> infected pus on them.
>
> "Captain Infinity". Fuuuck. You're not the Captain of anything --
> you couldn't dominate a DILDO. Try "Captain Skidmark". Hmm.
> "Captain Manboob"? There you go. "Captain Chucklefart. Now we're
> getting somewhere!
>
> What's more, I bet you never actually DID kick a cat -- you're just
> pathetic enough of a fat fuck turd to think it's worth LYING about, to
> BRAG about! Like your eleven-year-old boogerloving crusty-butthole
> friends might look up to you for it. "I taught it to fly, heeyuck,
> chortle, fart." What a stupid fuck turd you are! Let me know if you
> need me to elaborate on this, okay?
>
> Now, be sure to PLEASE print this post out, and tape it on your
> mirror, so you can read and reflect upon it each morning.
>
> Sincerely,
>
>
> Ben
>
>
> P.S. Fuckface! Hey, Fuckface! I know where there's some GAY COCK to
> stuff in your FAT FUCKMOUTH, you UGLYWEED FUCKFACE! You want some
> GREASY DICK for your LONELY STUPID MOUTH?!? 'Course you do, ya pimple-
> lipped polesmoker! That's you, CAPTAIN FUCKFACE, eating turds by the
> pound! And I'd say "You go, girl", if it made you happy (why not?
> sure! why NOT be a flabby $12 throatfuck whore, working out of your
> Dad's basement? fuck it! nothing matters! it's all stupid,
> everything's stupid, nobody understands you!), but that's the sad and
> pathetic part: FUCKFACE, you're NOT HAPPY, and you NEVER WILL BE.
>